"Destiny is not a matter of CHANCE, It is a matter of CHOICE"

Friday, December 14, 2007

My so called "crappy mood"

Sometimes girls are really hard to understand! They always wanted attention, care and love. I am not saying guys don't want the same thing as girl wants, it's just girls are more flamboyant when it comes to sensitiveness and emotions. Yea, i am one of those, it's not that i have my monthly period, i am just enduring my crappy mood, yes my so called "". Sense i got here in this country and got married, i tried to minimize it and even eradicate it but i can't. It's really hard to get rid of your old customs.

Anyway, i just can't believe i did it again, ruin our plan for the night. We're supposed to have margarita in the jacuzzi room but it ends up into a miserable night. I really can't believe myself, it's not that he didn't give me his attention, care, love or whatever, i have all of those and i think i am drowning in his love but not to the extent that i don't want it anymore... in fact i am lovin' it so much that made me do this to raymond. I am over enjoying it, i am taking advantage of his love and kindness, poor raymond.

I still went to the jacuzzi in spite of what i did. I have my margarita all by myself. i didn't turn on the tv and even the light . i even turn off the neon light for the corona symbol. The only thing i had in there is my drink and the headphone for the music. Poor me because i only have the love songs. Don't laugh at me when i say music especially love songs are my ultimate escape, my conscience and my great doctor at the same time. Listening to love songs really made me cogitate and feel guilty afterwards because i know it's my fault.

I am just lucky he understood me oftentimes but i know everything has an end, and lucky me, we end up talking at that night. I don't know how, all i know i saw him in the kitchen and we end up talking.

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