"Destiny is not a matter of CHANCE, It is a matter of CHOICE"

Friday, April 4, 2008

An article for IndoTV

An online friend of mine requested if I can write something about Filipino lives here in America. He said that it would be nice to know what is really the real experiences of the women married to an American me.

I will be talking about my experiences and some that I have witnessed. I always have simple plans in life. All I want before was to finish my degree and have a decent job in Davao. I don't remember while I was growing up that I dreamt of going to USA. What started this whole new life and environment is when I had my job at the accounting office of the university where I finish my degree in computer science. I was hired as an encoder of the payroll and had access to the internet.

Processing my papers to come here wasn't easy but it went smoothly. I have to go through it all and what scared me was the mandatory seminar at the CFO where they showed mostly unfortunate Filipino who was being beaten by their foreign husbands. I was aware that knowing someone in a long distance situation is very different than knowing someone when you're living with him. Everything will show when you are with him 24/7. I have heard a story about my friend's friend in Alaska that her boyfriend was so inconsiderate that he let her stay outside in the middle of the night in a freezing temperature and they never get married and she eventually went back home. It's really sad that these things happens yet we can't generalize everything. It didn't change my mind because I had this feeling within me that he is a good guy. When I arrive here in the US I was greeted with warm welcome by my husband and his family which I considered my second family. I was very thankful to God that he gave me a good man with a good family. Ever since I step foot here my husband never landed his hands on me instead he showed me almost the whole country. He brought and showed me all 49 states that never in my whole life imagine I will go to. I have seen amazing and interesting places because of him. He taught me so many things even though sometimes we have some fights yet we always talk about what the problem is.

I know I have filipino who visited my website, I am requesting all my friends to add your unique story as a comment and I will repost this whole thing again with your story and experiences as a blog and i will include your name after your story. Hope you will support me so I can give a good article to my friend.


rosit said...

gi add na tika,hope yu add me too.takecare.

AngelNoah said...

Hi malyn,
Thanks for letting me give my part too. More or less, we have the same experience, talking about choosing the right person to be our lifetime partner.:)
I was married to a christian american guy in the Philippines wayback 2004. Many friends of mine I knew were a little bit negative about it because many were thinking it might lead me to a bad experience like being abused or so. I can't blame them, but I believed God gave him to me. Then, both of us had to go through tough paperworks and scrutinies with the US immigration. Being 9,000 miles apart is a horrible experience, and we both sacrifice to go through the ups and downs of the immigration paperworks in order to be together. That came to pass, and we were reunited here in the US February 2006. I don't only consider myself as lucky, but so much blessed to have a husband who is so loving and understanding, and to top it most a real christian guy who loves our God so much. His family loves me and has been a good family to me too. I am very well taken cared of, and very well loved. That is such a blessing to me. Sometimes, he would spoil me and treats me as his "baby", LOL! He would love to surprise me every different occasion...and he knows when to let me eat because I would get grumpy when I get hungry, :)).
Life in America is a humbling experience for me. It is way much different from Philippine life, not only when it comes to economy but culture as well. People with a lot of discipline is easy to live with, not judgmental, no gossips, very appreciative, and independent-minded. That's how I see people in America that I've met...friends, family, relatives, etc. The fast paced life is considered to be a "rat race", but I felt I am not thrown out of place because I got a husband who has been very supportive and always with me most of the time. I get stupid and ignorant sometimes, but I learn from those through my husband's guidance. In America, I learned to go with the flow of life. Old cultures that have been practiced by me in my country have to be left behind...I am not saying they are bad culture, but there are those that we still have and practice which are not doing any good to us. I mean we have to move on and go...that's American life. A filipino time is not doing us any good if you have it in America. Oh, I hope I am not getting out of context here. Anyway, I think I need to stop talking. Or else, if I would go further, I need a whole page of a website to share entirely my life in America. Oh, and before I forget, I am having fun and happy life in America!
Thanks sis for the space.

Merydith said...

I met my husband when I was teaching in an international school in Cebu. We were both 21 years old when we first started. He didn't know anything about Philippines until he became a member of Youth For Christ that were run by Filipinos. There were only 5% Americans in the group. He wanted so bad to belong that was how he searched the internet for a history teacher and that was moi. It's been 9 years and we have been married for 5 years tomorrow. Life is wonderful. We might not have much because we started really young but we have each other. We have a one year old son that we adore and consider a blessing. Learn more about us at http://profiles.friendster.com/ryanmerydithfrancis
I may have to add you first though.

Keep on believing.

Merydith said...

Opps talking about paper works it took us 7 months. We started the process in mid 2002 then finally made it here 2003. I have to quit teaching because I have to leave anytime soon. I have so much to say about my husband pero di nalang kay mataas na but his face can speak for itself. We were married here in a Catholic church because he doesn't want a civil wedding which we thought we were lucky being here for only a few months. Most church would require 6 months. Anyways, I know not all Filipinas have a good experience about their husbands that is why I feel so lucky and I hope things will get better for them too.

gen2507 said...

Nice story Malyn:) It took 6 mos. getting my fiancee visa. I met my husband through dating website and he visited me 1st in Philippines and spent time each other and then he met me 2 times in Switzerland one of the country in Europe and then again in Philippines. I heard some rumors also that there are some filipina married to an American man abused by their husband and that is really sad and I am just lucky to marry an American who taking care of me and show the world. So far, my marriage life is happy and keep continuing and we love dearly each other. Before, I was not sure if I marry an American, because here in America has a divorce. My husband is very understanding on me and sometimes I am just the one who will fight on him but I love my husband. I have learned alot through my husband and I called him as my "great professor" (lol). I am glad also I live now here in America as it is alot of opportunity if you are not lazy. It is nice to be alive and happy. God Bless Us all!

indotv said...

Thanks Malyn for this posting. Great post.

Angel Smith said...

Ive been here for about 2 months only friend and i am really new here...so lots of changes that u need to catch up..and its really hard...I just wanted to have a lots of friends that can make me encourage on how to face my new journey...And thanks alot for letting me share about myself friend...you have a very nice story...have a nice day

Prily said...

My story?It's all captured in my blog!But i would say not all had fairy-tale like stories like me and the other lucky ones. I had been to few places,befriended lots of Filipinas who married foreigners and each has different experience.When i first arrived in Scotland before(that was 2003) the news that greeted me was a Filipina who committed suicide because of depression.And i also met some Filipinas who have selfish husbands,etc..etc...Not all marriages are sweet!There are very scary relationships.But i thank God for helping me made the best choice in my life: by marrying my Canadian husband.To all of us who married foreigners,goodluck to us!

arlene said...

hey girl! taga-davao pod diay ka...hmm..nice post here.We basically all have the same story. Not dreaming of eventually landing permanently here. I started mine with a my best friend back in college, filling up a form that will publish our photos with a little data over US-Asian connection magazine. It was just a joke then. Although internet chatting was already a hit that time. After a short months, I received hundreds of letters from all over North America, and hubby was one of the persistent guy ever. Some guys visited me in PI a few times. But eventually, with hubby's never ending letters, he won!!! lol......like most of you guys, i feel lucky to have chosen my guy.

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